Advice is about fighting for what you want and defending yourself from others who want you or want what you have.  What one person sees as getting ahead is an invasion of another's fiefdom.  In the same vein,  lovers want someone who is desirable precisely because he or she is unavailable.  Pestering a person who has the mindset of preferring what is unavailable is counterproductive.  In a similar vein,  we want a spiritual life but prefer that God not interfere with our preferences too much whi...